Epic FAILZ!
by soccergurlie
Summary: A series of PJO one-shots! "Big words make small brain ANGRY!"
1. Seaweed Brain's Small Brain

**Seaweed Brain's Small Brain**

"Come on Percy! Are you listening?" Annabeth asked, exasperated.

No, he wasn't. They were discussing current news, and Percy had zoned off while Annabeth started going on about the government and president.

"Percy!" Annabeth whined.

"But I don't like studying!" Percy whined back.

"How hard is it to understand?"

"Very, actually."

"Thanks for the great answer!"

"Thanks for asking!"

Annabeth rolled her eyes. Not like Percy would understand.

"Big words make small brain **angry**!" Percy joked. Annabeth giggled, now happy. They encircled into each other's arms and walked hand in hand to the beach.

Annabeth laid her head on his shoulder as they watched the sunset. "You know, I should have recorded that."

"Too late."

"Want to race to dinner?"

"You're on."


	2. Extra Virgin Olive Oil

**Extra Virgin Olive Oil**

"I'm bored!" complained Chelsea, a new 8 year old Apollo camper.

"We've been sitting here for about two minutes." contemplated Annabeth. They were sitting at the arena, where they had just finished sword practice.

"But I'm an eight year old with ADHD!" Chelsea moaned.

"You know, I always wanted to try cooking." Annabeth stated, as if she hadn't heard Chelsea.

"Anything!"

They ran to the dining pavilion kitchen. "Let's cook... Omelet." Annabeth said after a while.

"It sounds easy enough." Chelsea agreed. Chelsea ran around looking for ingredients while Annabeth stood there, reading the recipe. Soon enough, they began cooking and Chelsea got bored (once again). So she sat down a swung her legs under her chair and spotted the Extra Virgin Olive Oil.

"What does Virgin mean?"

Annabeth didn't turn from her cooking. "Well, you see, as you get older..." she started.

She continued on, basically giving the 8 year old daughter of Apollo the 'Talk'. "And that is what virgin means." Annabeth finished eventually.

"Then what does Extra-Virgin Olive Oil mean?"


	3. Wishing Star

Wishing Star

"Look! A wishing star!" yelled Katie Gardner. Everybody's heads turned to look at the bright flash of light passing through the chilly clear night. The campfire grew and changed color.

"Wishing stars are rigged." Clarisse scowled.

"Hmm... Let's check!" Percy said enthusiastically. He closed his eyes, everyone craning their necks to see if it would work. Eventually, his eyes open and he turned to face Clarisse.

"Nope, it didn't work."

Clarisse snorted, "See, that's what you ninnies get for wishing on wishing stars."

"What did you wish for?" Annabeth asked curiously.

"For Clarisse to disappear." Percy grinned evilly. Clarisse's eyes widened.

"Jackson!" she roared.

"Gotta go!" yelped Percy. All heads, including Mr. D's and Chiron's, turned to watch as Percy ran around the campfire, avoiding Clarisse.


	4. 3,794th birthday

**3,794th birthday**

Chiron groaned as he got off his bed. Thousands of years really cracks your back in the morning.

He looked up at the wall calendar hanging up on the log wall. Wonderful, he was turning 3,794. Chiron chuckled as he remembered the way his birthday had been ignored due to another adventure completed by the young hero, Persius Jackson.

"People must remember my birthday this year," he mused. "No more of that father nonsense." He hurriedly galloped out into the field, relishing the sunlight.

"Morning, young ones." he smiled, galloping up to the young couple, Travis and Katie. "Isn't today a special day for me?"

"Yes, the strawberries are growing especially tall and the sunlight is beaming over us." Katie nodded, squinting in the sunlight. Chiron realized they had no idea it was his birthday. '_It must be a mistake. They are just joking.' _He thought.

"I know why you are happy!" Travis exclaimed suddenly. Chiron quickly moved his head, excited for the happy words he had not heard for years. Happy Birthday.

"You won a pinochle game with Dionysus! Good job, old man!" He gave him a pat on the back and they wandered off.

"No worries. No worries." Chiron muttered.

Yet still, by the end of the day, nobody could decipher his moodiness.

"Chiron?" Annabeth asked him aloud at the camp fire. "What _is_ today?"

"My birthday."

Complete silence. Then, all of a sudden, a bird flew over, pooping directly onto Chiron's head.

"Happy birthday?" Annabeth uttered.

Just wonderful.


End file.
